Someone with five points...by chetan bhagat

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article against reservations and sent it to a trusted journalist friend (TJF). TJF replied that even though the article sounded heartfelt and the arguments were valid, she could not use it. The reason, she said, was simple. She told me a lot of what I was saying had already been said. The case for merit, equality, Indian competitiveness was already out in the open.

I took her point and withdrew the article. However, it struck me that in many situations, the media will not cover something relevant just because well, it is not entertaining enough.


The reason quite simply is the lack of a dramatic event. Ten years back, kids were burning themselves. Nothing of that sort is happening now. And the media is so immune now, to get them interested young people need to do more", was what she told me.


And I do respect her opinion. So I will not go into the "Media these days" rant. I will only take some lessons from a senior person in the media and try to give some tips to the activists to make sure their protests are more effective. After all, the point of making a noise is to be heard. And to be heard, one doesn't have to burn himself -- If you want to do an effective protest, learn from the past masters -- and who better than Mahatma Gandhi.


In photographs, Mahatma Gandhi is a frail, saintly figure. However, what is often ignored is his magical ability to make a point and attract attention. He had no advertising budgets or PR managers. There were very few media outlets then. Yet, he dominated media space for decades and ultimately won. There is no reason why we cannot learn a few tips from him, some of which I list below. And you can get these checked by any media professional; they would tend to agree that this is a way to get yourself heard.


1. Keep a visual -- This is vital in today's multimedia world. Newspapers need to be colourful to compete with television, and a television is not a television without a visual. Gandhi kept a visual -- salt march (everyone remembers the scooping of salt), burning British made clothes, operating the charkha and more. Placards are boring. Do something else -- a huge bonfire, human chains -- be creative, make it easier for NDTV. They will come, I promise.

2. Emotions more than Reason -- Whenever activists talk to the media, always keep emotions in the forefront. Brooding anger, tears, banging fists is far more interesting than statistics on caste based demographics. Tell people what you think about the issue -- you are on the editorial page. Tell people what you feel about the issue -- you are on the front page.


3. Intentions more than Action -- This is a trick most used by our politicians even today. In reality, actions alone matter. However, our politicians keep saying 'our intention is to lift the backward castes', and they almost sound reasonable. Of course, the actions only divide the country and kill merit -- but they hide in the garb of purported good intentions. Protestors can do the same. They may be blocking traffic -- but harp on theintentions: 'But this is for Saraswati mata -- knowledge should decide'. (Think about it -- the politicians will be scared to take on Saraswati mata or if you mix any religious sentiment in your favour). Alongside, attack the other party's intentions -- 'they are only doing reservations for selfish political gain' (which is probably true).


4. Don't hurt yourself -- Burning yourself or even hunger strikes are very dangerous tools. There is no guarantee they will be effective. If they don't work, you will be seen as weak. Gandhi used a hunger strike rarely, and only after he had decades of experience.


5. Find a simple, interesting slogan -- Gandhi always had a simple slogan. It gives two benefits -- one it makes it easier to pass through word of mouth with minimal distortion. Secondly, it fits into the limited headline space in newspapers. In media terms, this is called 'the hook'. The reservation movement has no slogan yet. Find one. My suggestions: "No suck-up politics" OR "India on Merit only"


The above points are important to make your cause heard. Ignore them and the world will ignore you. Play them right and the media is on your side. Trust me; the reservation issue has bothered a lot of people in the media too.


I personally feel very strongly against reservations, and I wish the agitators all the best. I give the above tips as my small contribution towards tackling this monumental issue that will take effort from all of us. I am writing this article for an online site so that you can forward it to all friends who feel the same about reservations.


You are standing up for fairness, God will be with you. Stay strong, stay inspired.

-chetan bhagat

A comment by US President, Lyndon Johnson

You do not take a man who for years has been hobbled by chains, liberate him, bring him to the starting line of a race, saying, 'you are free to compete with all the others,' and still justly believe you have been completely fair.

Thus it is not enough just to open the gates of opportunity. All our citizens must have the ability to walk through those gates.

This is the next and the more profound stage of the battle for civil rights.

Why It Was Okay To Rape Indira Ishwarlal Thakur?

Let me tell you a little story. It is a bit gruesome, but quite interesting nevertheless. And there is a moral too, in the end. If reading about the illtreatment of women and violence against them makes you feel funny in your intestines, then this post is definitely not for you.

There was this unbelievably beautiful girl, Indira Ishwardas Thakur (You could call her Ms. IIT for the sake of convenience), who used to live in this pretty interesting locality called Indrakumar-Natwarlal-Durgadas International Avenue (you could INDIA, for the sake of convenience). I.N.D.I.A. was interesting because it was full of diversity. The people who lived there came from different sections of society, and there was nothing homogenous about the place. There were some swanky malls and office-complexes located about the avenue, as were some less interesting places like tabelas and filthy fishmarkets.

Ms. Indira Ishwarlal Thakur happened to be the most beautiful woman who lived in IND International Avenue, and half the male population of the locality wanted to be friends with her, or better still be something more than friends with her. Most of the local boys who used to get together for a chat or smoke, would somehow always talk about how great it would be to sleep with Indira. She was definitely every mans fantasy.
Not only was Ms. IIT beautiful, she also happened to be one of the smartest and the most intelligent human beings who inhabited the locality. Being beautiful, intelligent and confident and a cut above the rest, Indira was quite understandably a bit choosy about the men she liked to fraternize with, or accept as lovers. She had very high-standards and was only known to accept the company of men she really liked. Men who were intelligent, men who were handsome, men who were witty, men who were capable, men whom Indira thought were really worth her.

Ms. IIT liked only five men in her locality, and was great friends with them. Nothing serious, really. Just the sugary goodness of a platonic friendship with each of them. A little bit of flirting was, of course, implied. These men were undoubtedly the coolest dudes who lived around the place and the smartest ones too. Their names were Mohan, Edwin, Rohit, Imitiyaz and Tarun (well, MERIT, for short). Ms. IIT very happy in the company of Messrs MERIT, and they got along like a house on fire.

This, of course, left a large sections of others males in the avenue frustrated and jealous. They didnt like the fact that IIT was only friends with MERIT, and not with them. Forget being friends with them, she cared two hoots about them and wouldnt even care to talk to them. How dare that slut!, thought the others. Something should be done about it! Who does that whore think she is? Lets do something about it!, rose a few voices.

Then there was this rather nasty gang of streetside thugs whom Indira hated. There were too many of them, actually. There was Ibrahim, there was Naresh, there was Chandru, there was Omar, there was Maqbul, there was Peter, there was Eijaz, there was Tony, there was Eric, there was Nagesh, there was Chetan, and Erics little brother Edward (Messrs INCOMPETENCE, to be short). The only thing these people ever thought of, when they were sufficiently drunk, was how to manage to get Indira laid. Messrs INCOMPETENCE went to a local gang leader and expressed their desires. The gang leader, who was the most demented of all the people, said it was okay to rape Indira, if they liked. They just had to make a clean job of it, and he would take care of the rest.

Buoyed by their Godfathers assurances, the people whose names could be summarized with the acronym INCOMPETENCE hatched a nasty plan. They would first bump off the guys, and then tackle Ms. IIT. So they got into a couple of TATA Safaris, with half a dozen guns, a few baseball bats, knives, etc. and set out to action the plan.

Indira and the boys were having a quiet chat in a classy upmarket restaurant, when the rowdy crowd entered, brandishing their baseball bats and shiny pistols. Soon, they all overpowered Messrs MERIT and dragged them out of the restaurant, violently pushing Indira out after them. MERIT did put up a small fight, but they were simply overwhelmed by the numerical strength of INCOMPETENCE. Within a few minutes, MERITs game was up. Mohan and Rohit got their throats slit, Tarun had every bone in his body smashed to bits, Imtiyaz and Edwin were shot in their heads, with minimal fuss. INCOMPETENCE didnt suffer much, except for a few scratches here and there. Soon, the dead bodies were dumped into a garbage bin and left to rot.

During the scuffle, Indira had tried to escape and managed to run a short distance, but she was soon caught up with by Maqbul and Peter, pushed to the ground and firmly held there, with Maqbuls foot firmly pressed against her head. Soon, the rest of INCOMPETENCE arrived at the scene and proceeded to realise, what they had been able to hitherto only dream of. A couple of them violently slapped her across her face till her lips bled, just to get her to stop screaming and creating such a huge ruckus. Ibrahim and Omar ripped her clothes off, without further delay and then Maqbul pushed her down once again, this time with her back to the ground.
They all took turns mounting her, with one of them choking her neck and another firmly pressing her mouth shut, to stifle her groans. Young Edward amused himself by piercing Indiras naked flesh with the knife which he was carrying, just to see how she bled. It was an interesting scene, actually: twelve men, a few of them with their pants pulled down, huddled over the body of a completely helpless, naked woman, as if the female body wasnt alive, but just a mere toy with which they could play with.

While Messrs INCOMPETENCE were half done, a local social worker suddenly descended onto the scene. INCOMPETENCE just blankly stared at her - it was Anitatai Zopadpattiwale, a woman they held in high respect. They were afraid, she might not approve of what they had done, but she gave them a reassuring smile. Messrs INCOMPETENCE moved away from the body on the ground - yes, for all practical purposes it was just a body on the ground now. Anitatai knelt on the ground and ran her fingers through the semi-concious Indiras hair. INCOMPETENCE had by now pulled up their pants and were eyeing Anitatai suspiciously.

It is okay dear, said Anita to Indira. This was long since, coming - You ignored these people for such a long time, and you wouldnt talk to them. Well, this was the only solution. But! These people are thugs! And they are raping me!, said Indira. So be it, said Anita. Isnt it all justified - you ignored these men because you thought they werent good enough for you. You were friends with MERIT all along just because they were smart, all along. Could the INCOMPETENCE boys help it, if they werent smart? Could they control what parents they were born to? They are dumb, incompetent and good-for-nothing because they did not get the enivoronment which merit did?

Do you ever realise yelled Anita, that for these people to be so lousy that you hated them, a historical wrong must have been perpetuated on them? You further aggravated the problem by judging them unfairly.
And how are you sure that your method of judging men is the best method? In fact, it has always favored smarter men, without any concern for the needs of the helpless incompetent imbeciles.

Messrs MERIT are intelligent the way you want them to be, and have a way with words, the way you would like them to have, because they have been born into families which werent socially disadvantaged. They learnt the ropes, fairly quick, and developed intelligence and social skills which poor INCOMPETENCE didnt. All INCOMPETENCE could do was sit and mope - and for no fault of their own. Isnt it poetic justice that they should be allowed to rape you?

Doesnt equality in society matter more than whos better than whom? The balance was always unfairly tilted in the favor of you smart, resourceful, intelligent people - If only you had wholeheartedly embraced your undeserving co-residents. This would have not come to pass. The writing was on the wall all along. You should have known

Indira was left dazed and speechless with all of this. Anitatais little speech stunned her more than than the half a dozen thugs, who had just raped her. This was surely an epiphanic moment - she understood.

Soon, the social worker walked off, and Indira let the rest of the thugs ravage her body without bothering to struggle.

(writer...unknown)